


Christmas is Hell

by Couldbeamidget



Series: Christmas is a Sentimental Farce [4]
Category: Christmas - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, reposting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21841741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couldbeamidget/pseuds/Couldbeamidget
Summary: This is a very different version of "Hark all the Bells" then you're used to. Sorry about that.
Series: Christmas is a Sentimental Farce [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573486
Kudos: 4





	Christmas is Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is written as a musical dialogue, a "call and response", if you will.

**(Sherlock)**

John, we’re in hell

Can you not tell

Lights on the tree

Rum in my tea 

Christmas is here, 

Hateful good cheer

Lock our abode 

Or I’ll explode

_ Dim...dull...grim...skull _

**(John)**

Don’t be a twat

I like the rum

It warms my tum.

Shut it, my dear

Stop all the drear

Stay in your chair

Else I go spare

**(Sherlock)**

My head, it pounds

Let’s go to ground

O'er hill and dale,

My aunt’s in Bedale

Too much of bling

stomach-churning

Songs in poor taste

Quick, John, make haste!

**(John)**

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas,

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas.

Come now, my friend

Do not offend

Put down that phone

Leave Greg alone

_ Dim...sum...sweet...plum _

**(Sherlock)**

Hark how it smells

Pudding repels

Christmas cliche

It’s not okay

**(John)**

Christmas is here,

Don’t interfere

Come, let’s not fight

Enough of this shite

**(Sherlock)**

John, I will d-

**(John)**

SHERLOCK! SHUT YOUR GOB OR SO HELP ME, I’LL CALL MYCROFT!

**(Sherlock)**

Merry Christmas, John. Look, I bought you a present!


End file.
